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Bush Sweetens Road Map Deal With Coupons

TEL AVIV - In a bid to gain more local support for his "road map" to peace in Israel, President Bush announced at a press conference late Saturday that the U.S. would include valuable cents-off coupons to all civilians who buy-in to the idea.

"There's nothing that a Texan like myself appreciates more than a good deal," Bush told reporters, "and the best deals always include coupons for our favourite things."

"That's why the U.S. government has decided to provide these valuable coupons to every Israeli and Palestinian that buys into our road map package," he continued. "There's all the good stuff, like extra points at Esso on your next gasoline purchase and a dollar off your next car wash."

Bush waves the 2-for-1 Arby's coupon.
The real clincher, Bush stated, was the 2-for-1 Arby's roast beef sandwich coupon. "It was late in the day, and we had just come out of a long negotiating session," Bush said. "Ariel came up to me and said, 'George, I haven't had a single morsel for hours. I am so hungry I could eat at one of your Arby's.' Mahmoud was there and he said the same thing."

"I love Arby's, so I promised him that the next time he comes to Washington, we'd go there," Bush added, licking his lips.

The addition of the coupons comes just days after the inclusion of directions to Denny's at various points along the road to peace. A White House spokesperson told reporters that the feedback they received was so positive that the decision to include coupons went ahead.

President Bush highlighted some of the more important parts of his road map: "It is important to know when you've gone too far."

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